“Emotions, whether positive or negative, stimulate very strong actions, and it’s that signal that makes them so important in our lives. They help organize experience. They tend to color perceptions of ourselves and others. Emotions both guide and goad our actions.” --Robert Ornstein, Stanford researcher
Do you think you can not influence unwelcome, distracting or debilitating emotions that wash over you like a wave? Do you experience specific emotions that rob you of productivity, health, and having successful work, family and love relationships? Emotions, defined as our subjective experience at any moment in time, are the least understood of human experience. Information, tools, methodologies are available that make acknowledging and re-directing those unpleasant emotions possible.
The good news is that you are equipped to select more appropriate emotions to fit a particular situation = emotional choice = self-respect and behaviors that work to fulfill your outcomes. When we do not mobilize ourselves to take action and seek professional help to change an unpleasant emotion, the consequences can include: physical health problems manifesting like ulcers, high blood pressure, headaches, difficulty sleeping; inability to concentrate, perform well on a task and fulfill important goals, communicating rashly and impatiently at work and home or failing to communicate because we are preoccupied or have withdrawn.
Here three beliefs most people have about emotions:
- they lie outside of our control and are either good or bad.
- they are like pushy Uncle Mortimer who shows up on the door step uninvited, decides to stay and cannot be ignored.
- they are to be endured or enjoyed depending on the situation, and those that are to be endured hang around like a black cloud lasting hours, days, months or years.
With education and greater understanding of what an emotion is doing for you, its value as a catalyst for change becomes obvious. What this means for you is no longer falling victim to your emotions. Doing some unwanted behavior like yelling at your kids because you are frustrated with an opinionated mother-in-law, is only one of many ways to respond. Feeling lonely and without friends and activities, becomes an unfortunate outcome you want motivation to change. Anxiety about an important presentation to boss, colleagues and investors, get shelved in favor of adequate preparation and anticipating success. Disappointment that a date did not go well or that a relationship you had high hopes for does not work out, leads to new decisions and resolve to move forward.
The following are four key capabilities that offer an expanded viewpoint on the three limiting beliefs mentioned above. Most importantly, you can develop new thinking skills in order to learn how-to exercise and gain “Emotional Choice.”
- Placement – capable of responding to specific situations with emotions that are appropriate and useful
- Expression – capable of choosing how to express your emotions
- Employment – capable of utilizing unpleasant emotions to generate useful behaviors and pleasant emotions
- Prevention – capable of preventing yourself from experiencing certain overwhelming and immobilizing emotions
Below is a table of 42 different emotions in no particular order. These represent emotions you may want to avoid, prevent, gain, learn to express more appropriately, or change. I assist you to accomplish the outcome you desire through Office Visits and Skype Phone Sessions.
- lonely overwhelmed disappointed
- shame contentment disagreeable
- humiliated greedy anticipation
- hurt apprehensive insecure
- stubborn regretcontentment
- responsible helpless jealous
- embarrassed motivated pressured
- obligatedcapable contemptuous
- doubt determination rejection
- jealousy grief, sadness bored, restless
- envy acceptance inadequate
- desperate, needy irritation ambitious, tenacious
Sunday and evening appointments available for working people who cannot do daytime appointments.
Call now 760-798-9076